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William Shunn
shunn
17 February 2008 @ 07:16 am
Don't drown!  
I am a huge fan of the warnings and advisories from the National Weather Service. It's something about the matter-of-fact cataloging of the various ways weather phenomena can take life. These reports are marvels of terse concision, and I recommend them to anyone who delights in language.

This, for example, from today's flood warning for Northern Illinois:

MOST FLOOD DEATHS OCCUR IN AUTOMOBILES. NEVER DRIVE YOUR VEHICLE INTO AREAS WHERE THE WATER COVERS THE ROADWAY. FLOOD WATERS ARE USUALLY DEEPER THAN THEY APPEAR. JUST ONE FOOT OF FLOWING WATER IS POWERFUL ENOUGH TO SWEEP VEHICLES OFF THE ROAD. WHEN ENCOUNTERING FLOODED ROADS MAKE THE SMART CHOICE...TURN AROUND...DONT DROWN.
Masterful. If you don't hear the music, there's nothing I can do for you.


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Current Location: Chicago, IL
Current Music: Can't you hear it?
 
3 comments | Leave a comment
 
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karen_w_newton[info]karen_w_newton on February 17th, 2008 04:56 pm (UTC)
Too bad there's not a site that regularly advises people that not wearing a seat belt is one of the main reasons people are badly hurt or die when they're in a traffic accident.

Common sense, as someone once said, is not as common as we might wish.
crabwalk[info]crabwalk on February 17th, 2008 11:49 pm (UTC)
Newsrooms usually have special weather scanners tuned into the National Weather Service, so that when there's an alert like this, it comes over the scanner for everyone within a certain range to hear. But the best part is that the alerts are read by automated computer voices (a la "Fitter, Happier"), not humans.

So imagine the all-caps poetry you find so lovely being spoken by...ROBOTS.
William Shunn: Thrilling Wonder Stories[info]shunn on February 19th, 2008 01:11 pm (UTC)
Robots! That's the one thing that could possibly make NWS alerts better!
I am a huge fan of the warnings and advisories from the National Weather Service. It's something about the matter-of-fact cataloging of the various ways weather phenomena can take life. These reports are marvels of terse concision, and I recommend them to anyone who delights in language.

This, for example, from today's flood warning for Northern Illinois:

MOST FLOOD DEATHS OCCUR IN AUTOMOBILES. NEVER DRIVE YOUR VEHICLE INTO AREAS WHERE THE WATER COVERS THE ROADWAY. FLOOD WATERS ARE USUALLY DEEPER THAN THEY APPEAR. JUST ONE FOOT OF FLOWING WATER IS POWERFUL ENOUGH TO SWEEP VEHICLES OFF THE ROAD. WHEN ENCOUNTERING FLOODED ROADS MAKE THE SMART CHOICE...TURN AROUND...DONT DROWN.
Masterful. If you don't hear the music, there's nothing I can do for you.


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